Mafficking Border MorrisTolls & Tributes
The Ledger of Tariffs, Barters & Bribes
Mafficking Border Morris brings a rowdy, dark, and unapologetic Gothic-Victorian energy to public squares, private revels, and historic gatherings. We march in sleek waistcoats, tailored top hats, and polished boots — bringing a theatrical elegance and a magnificent din wherever we set foot.
While we are driven by folklore and the thrill of the fray, keeping our ranks shod and our wooden pegs clashing requires a modest tribute. Below is our guide to standard tariffs. Please note that every quote is a guide price only.
The Reckoning
Local Community (Portsmouth Environs)
For causes close to our darkly beating hearts within Portsmouth. This is usually free - although we never turn down a pint of ale if it's going!
A token donation for local fetes, traditional fayres, and community gatherings within our home territory.
We are easily swayed by covered expenses, unique barters, a round at the bar, or other creative offerings beyond Portsmouth.
Private & Commercial (All Locations)
Weddings, private banquets, and gothic celebrations. We bring the drama, the music, and the spectacle.
For grand commercial festivals, public house anniversaries, or media appearances. Contact us for a bespoke quote.
Will Dance for Dodgems
The Art of Barter & Bribes
While our usual tribute is measured in coin, our ranks are not entirely immune to temptation.
Following a legendary exploit at the Hollycombe Steam in the Country fairground, our side discovered that we can, on occasion, be corrupted. In exchange for raising a magnificent din among the engines, the fairground masters granted us free rein over the vintage rides — and the side decisively conquered the dodgems.
If you command an old-fashioned fairground, a historic steam railway, or a barrel of exceptional craft stout to offer in barter, our ledger is always open to alternative negotiation.
What the Racket Includes
When you summon Mafficking Border Morris, you secure a full performance crew of high-energy dancers accompanied by our live musicians.
Our performance sets typically run for 20 to 30 minutes, though we can adapt flexibly to the schedule of your event.
Muster & Logistics
Team Availability: All dispatches are strictly subject to side availability. When a request is received, a muster call is sounded across our ranks. Once enough dancers and musicians confirm availability for a full set, your booking is locked in.
On-Site Requirements:
- Safe parking access for our convoy
- A small secure space to store top hats and kit
- A modest supply of water (or ale) to keep dancers hydrated
Summon Us to Your Event
Ready to bring our Victorian elegance to your next gathering? Drop us a dispatch with your dates, location, and the nature of your event.
Send a Summon →